I have two children, am I an expert on children? No .. there is so much conflicting guidance out there that I’m pretty sure no one could consider themselves an expert.
To me it doesn’t matter how you became a mother, if you have kids then we are all on the same side! I don’t care if (and this list isn’t exhaustive) :
- You had a vaginal delivery with no drugs
- You had a vaginal delivery but took every drug going
- You had a c-section while you were still awake
- You had a c-section but were knocked out for the full thing
- You had a surrogate carry your baby
- You adopted your children
- You fostered your children
- You didn’t have kids of your own but met a man who did, so your now a step mum.
We are all still MOTHERS regardless how we got there.
I see these posts being shared on social media from time to time “women shame other women who had c-sections”. Maybe I live a sheltered life but I’ve NEVER heard another woman say a c-section was the easy way out! If anything I’m pretty sure most mothers would agree that a natural birth is tough but at least afterwards you are pretty much back on your feet. A c-section is an operation, its a scar, its painful, its downtime. In my opinion, c-section mothers should get a massive pat on the back! They not only go through the pregnancy (and the labour sometimes) they then require the operation. Once all the drugs wear off they then have to deal with the after effects of the c-section for weeks, sometimes months later. That on top of sore leaking boobs, crazy hormones, the general tiredness .. I don’t know how they cope. Well done to you all, you are heroes!
Then there is the breast feeding versus bottle feeding debate. I don’t care how you feed your baby, as long as your doing it. Some people don’t realise that breast feeding isn’t for everyone, some women’s bodies just cant do it, for others they can but its too painful, sometimes they can’t get the baby to feed or its just not working out for them. The science is there to say breast is best, but bottle feeding doesn’t make you a bad mum.
When you’ve just had a baby, your hormones are crazy, your laughing. your happy, your in love with this new bundle of joy and your crying, yes for absolutely no reason at all. The last thing a woman needs at this time in her life is to be made to feel like she can’t do right for doing wrong.
I thought I would list some of my confessions, which will show you that we aren’t all perfect mothers and we sometimes do things to make life easier, it doesn’t mean you are a bad mother.
- I bottle fed my 2 kids .. they’re healthy and thriving, imagine that 🙂
- I fed my kids out of jars, not home made purees everyday and guess what they loved it!
- I let my youngest sleep in her car seat for longer than the recommended 2 hours as she had been up all night. She needed the sleep and I needed the sanity.
- I’ve had days where my children have sat and watched children’s TV for hours on end in their pjs!
- I’ve even let my oldest play computer games meant for older children (talk about living on the wild side)
People might not admit it but we all do things just to get through the day sometimes, we aren’t all perfect parents. Some people are just better at hiding it than others.
As a mother, take each day as it comes, do what you feel is right. I’m sure you will make the best choices for YOU and YOUR baby. Don’t let anyone make you feel inadequate or tell you everything your doing is wrong. Mum’s know best after all 🙂
Even if no one else ever says it to you .. I think you’re a fantastic mum and your doing a grand job.