As I sit here, I look back over the years and how quickly time has gone by! I look at my little photo from play group, its one of the few photos I have (I was the second child who cried a lot according to my mum so there wasn’t a lot of photo opportunities). I look young, innocent and I had my whole life ahead of me. I was always told at school I was clever I was in the top groups for reading, writing and maths, so its no surprise that when I reached about 10 years old I had big ideas. I was going to be the clever career woman who would travel the world and eventually meet a perfect man, get married, have 2 kids then live happily ever after .
As the years went on, I was on course for fulfilling my dreams, I done well at school and got accepted to university at 17 years old.
When I was 17, I was still very young looking. I didn’t look old enough to get in to the clubs so I used to use a friends older sisters ID (who I’m not even sure I resembled) and I would pretend that I was older, I always said that I was 19 as that seemed a cool age and I would memorise my fake date of birth.
When I did eventually turn 19, I started to think 23 would be an amazing age. I think at the time I was looking up to people who were that age and they seemed to have a pretty good life.
Then my 23rd birthday came and went. By that time, my life certainly wasn’t turning out as I had planned. I was a mother of a 2 year old child, I was in an abusive relationship that I had no intentions of leaving. People always question why women don’t leave abusive relationships. I’m actually embarrassed now when I think of my reasons for not leaving .. I didn’t leave because I didn’t want to be another statistic, another “single mother” and I couldn’t bare the thought of disappointing my family. How sad is that, I worried so much about what other people would think, that I spent what should have been the best years of my life, really unhappy. None of those people had to walk in my shoes, so why did I really care what they thought? Anyway, in my unhappy life my new focus became age 27. I decided that would be the age that my life would be sorted out.
By 27 I wasn’t doing too badly at all. I had left the abusive relationship, I was settled in my life as a “single mother” and I was happy for the first time in years, I was settled with my child, my job and just enjoying the simpleness of life.
I realised after that that I didn’t have another age that I thought would be good. Maybe because my next milestone would be 30 and people have the idea that after 30 life goes down hill?
By the time I was 30 I was married and had another child. My 30th birthday was spent with my husband and kids, nothing extravagant but a lovely time with the people who matter most.
So as I look back, yeah maybe my life didn’t go as I had planned, but when I look at where I am now and what I’ve achieved, I think maybe I did get my dream but I just took the scenic route to get here.